Aboo Bakr and cOmar ask for her hand in marriage
Ameer al-Mo’meneen asks for her hand in marriage
Faatimah takes cAli as her husband
After Rasoolollaah had settled in Madinah, a number of prominent Moslems from Mohaajireen[1] and Ansaar[2] came to him to request his daughter’s hand in marriage. In most cases he respectfully refused their requests either by saying:
((This matter lies with her Creator; if He wanted her to marry, the she will marry.)).
Or by saying:
((I await in my decision Allaah’s command.)).
However, in a few cases history records that Rasoolollaah responded to the question of marriage from certain people, in a way completely different from his usual social etiquette, a behavior rarely witnessed from him, in which he disrespectfully refused a request by intentionally and dramatically turning his back to the person.
Bakri scholars name two of the highest ranking members of the Bakri party, cOmar and cAbdorrahmaan ibn Awf along with Aboo Bakr, himself, to be the bearers of that everlasting shame.
Bakri historians narrate:
((Aboo Bakr came to the Prophet, sat in front of him and said: O Rasoolollaah! You surely know my faithfulness and precedence in Islam…
Rasoolollaah: So what do you want?
Aboo Bakr: Faatimah’s hand in marriage.
Rasoolollaah then turned his back on him. And Aboo Bakr returned to cOmar saying: You perished and caused me to perish[3]
Omar: And how is that?
Aboo Bakr: I asked his daughter’s hand in marriage, but he turned his back on me.
Omar: Stay here while I go to him to ask him as you did.
Thus cOmar came to the Prophet, sat in front of him and said: O Rasoolollaah! You surely know my faithfulness, and precedence in Islam…
Rasoolollaah: So what do you want?
Omar: Faatimah’s hand in marriage.
Rasoolollaah then turned his back on him; and cOmar left[4].)).
It has also been recorded that Aboo Bakr and cOmar made a second attempt to win Faatimah’s marriage, as Bakri historians narrate:
((Both Aboo Bakr and cOmar told their daughters to ask Rasoolollaah for Faatimah’s hand in marriage, on their behalf; and each of them went to Rasoolollaah asking for his daughter’s marriage to her father. But Rasoolollaah refused.
And both of them wished they had not mentioned to the Prophet the question of Faatimah’s marriage[5].)).
Besides the Moslem accounts of the miraculous marriage of Ameer al-Mo’meneen(AS)[6] and Sayyedat Nesaa‘ al-cAAlameen(AaS)[7], Bakri historians also record it along with its accompanying supernatural events.
Omm Salamah narrates that when Ameer al-Mo’meneen[8] came to Rasoolollaah, who was in her home, to ask for Faatimah’s hand in marriage, the following happened:
((He knocked on the door.
I asked: Who is at the door?
And before he could answer, Rasoolollaah told me: Stand up O Omm Salamah! and open the door, and ask him to enter. For he is surely a man who loves Allaah and His Messenger and they love him.
So I said: My father and mother be your sacrifice, who is this person about whom you say such things without having seen him?!
Rasoolollaah: O Omm Salamah! He is my brother and cousin and the most beloved person to me.
So I harried to the door, stumbled in my Mert[9] on the way and almost fell to the ground, and when I opened the door I saw cAli. By Allaah! He did not enter the house until he was sure I had returned to my Khedr[10].
Then he came to Rasoolollaah saying: Peace and Allaah’s Mercy and Blessing be upon you O Rasoolollaah!
Rasoolollaah: And peace be upon you O cAli!
So cAli sat in front of him and looked down at the ground, as if he wanted to ask something but was shy to put it in words.
Knowing what was on his mind, Rasoolollaah told him: O cAli! I truly know that you have come here with a request, so ask of me your request and make clear what is in your mind[11].
But cAli stayed silent.
Rasoolollaah: Maybe you have come here to ask for Faatimah’s hand in marriage?
Ali: Yes[12].
I saw Rasoolollaah’s face glowing with happiness and joy. He then told cAli: O cAli! Do you want me to give you a good news?
Ali: Yes, my father and mother be your sacrifice O Rasoolollaah…
Rasoolollaah: Rejoice O cAli! For surely Allaah the Almighty has made you and Faatimah man and wife in the sky before I make you man and wife on the earth.)).
Besides the Moslem accounts, Bakri scholars also narrate a large number of ahaadeeth that Rasoolollaah was ordered by Allaah to make cAli and Faatimah man and wife, before cAli asked for her hand in marriage.
Bakri scholars also narrate a large number of ahaadeeth that says the marriage was performed in the sky before it was performed on the earth, and explains, in some detail, the manner in which the marriage was performed in the sky in the presence of countless angels with numerous ceremonies[13].
A question may come to mind, that if Allaah had ordered His Messenger to make cAli and Faatimah man and wife, and that if the marriage was actually performed in the sky before being performed on the earth, then what was the point of cAli asking Rasoolollaah for Faatimah’s hand?
The answer is clear; asking someone for his daughter’s hand in marriage is ceremonial and part of a tradition accepted by Islam. And the messengers of Allaah and their awseyaa’ always followed and abided by such traditional rules, to make known to their followers, through their actions, which rules are accepted in their religion and which and rejected.
It has been narrated that after Imaam cAli asked for Faatimah’s hand in marriage, Rasoolollaah said:
((O cAli! Others asked me for her hand in marriage before, and I mentioned them to her, but saw disagreement and discontent in her face. So wait here until I ask her about your proposal.
Thus Rasoolollaah left cAli waiting for the result, and went to his daughter Faatimah, saying: O Faatimah! cAli ibn Abi Taalib is a person whom you have known his relation, merit and the quality of his faith; and surely I have asked my Lord to make you the wife of His best creature and their most beloved to Him; and indeed cAli has mentioned the question of marriage with you, so what do you say?
She stayed silent and did not turn away her face, and he did not see in her face any sign of disapproval. So he said: Allaah is the greatest; her silence is her agreement[14].)).
Another pre-Islamic tradition that was accepted by Islam and included in the marriage, as an mandatory part, was the marriage gift. An amount of money, or piece of jewelry, or any other valuable given as a gift to the bride by her would be husband at the time of their marriage.
But knowing that in an effort to score a higher social status most people would raise the value of the marriage gift beyond their capabilities, and thus often encounter unpleasant consequences, or if they happened to content themselves to an affordable level they would risk social contempt, Rasoolollaah set an affordable standard for the marriage gift and insistently requested the Moslems not to ask for nor provide a higher value, in another attempt to quash social distinctions and bring the poor closer to the rich.
And when the time for his daughter’s marriage came, he followed the same standard and did not ask for a marriage gift more compatible with Faatimah’s God-given title: Sayyedat Nesaa‘ al-cAAlameen, or with his own social standing and powerful position; making himself, yet again, an Idolater target.
It has been narrated that some members of Qoraysh looked down on Rasoolollaah and made clear their stance by saying:
((You have indeed taken cAli as your son-in-law with a vile marriage gift[15].)).
Rasoolollaah, then, divided his daughter’s small marriage gift into three. One portion for buying the necessary tools of life such as pottery, one portion for buying perfume and scents, and he gave the third portion back to Ameer al-Mo’meneen(AS)[16] to help him with his wedding banquet.
When the humble dowry was purchased and brought to Rasoolollaah, he turned them up and down and said:
((O Allaah! Bless a people most of whose containers are earthenware[17].)).
When a house was prepared for the newly married couple, the wedding was set to take place. And like the marriage, many supernatural events occurred during the wedding, some of which were also reported and recorded by the couple’s enemies.
Bakri testimonies in their highly respected references include:
((Jabra’eel descended and told the Prophet: O Mohammad! Allaah sends you greetings, and has ordered me to greet Faatimah and give her a gift from Heavenly clothes for her wedding[18].)).
Prominent Bakri scholars also record the following:
((During the wedding, when Faatimah was ceremoniously escorted to cAli’s house, the Prophet was walking in front of her, Jabra’eel was walking on her right, Meekaa’eel[19] was walking on her left and seventy thousand angels were walking behind them, praising and glorifying Allaah until dawn break[20].)).
The wedding banquet also accompanied supernatural events, one of which is that thousands of people from Madinah, and even the farmers in the city suburbs gathered for the banquet, after an open invitation, and ate until they were full, and took out more food with them; but the small amount of food that according to Bakri historians was prepared from one sheep and a few kilos of corn flour[21] for making bread, did not finish, and it did not even reduce in quantity[22].
It has been narrated from Ameer al-Mo’meneen who said:
((…Then Rasoolollaah told me: Invite whoever you like for the banquet.
So I went to the mosque and saw it crowded with the Sahaabah[23], and because I did not like to invite a particular group and ignore a particular group, I stepped on a high platform and raised my voice: Attend Faatimah’s wedding banquet.
Suddenly I saw groups and groups of people coming for the banquet and I felt modest because of the large numbers of attendants and the small quantity of food.
Rasoolollaah who sensed what I was thinking, told me: O cAli! I will surely pray to Allaah for His Blessing.
Later all the people ate, drank, prayed for us and left, and their number was well over four thousand, but the food remained the same and did not reduce[24].)).
[1] Plural of Mohaajir: the Moslems who migrated from Makkah to Madinah to escape Idolater suppression, before the liberation of Makkah.
[2] Plural of Ansaari: a citizen of Madinah who converted to Islam before the liberation of Makkah.
[3] This statement shows that it was cOmar’s suggestion that Aboo Bakr asks for Faatimah’s hand in marriage.
[4] Kanz al-cOmmaal / al-Hendi = vol. 2, page 99.
[5] Majmac al-Zawaa’ed / al-Haythami.
[6] cAlayhes Salaam, peace be upon him.
[7] cAlayhas Salaam, peace be upon her.
[8] Commander of the Faithful; a title given exclusively to Imaam cAli by Allaah.
[9] A piece of cloth that covers the body from head to toe. This kind of hejaab was often worn by Arab women.
[10] A section of a room, etc. separated by a curtain, behind which women sit if there are any stranger men present.
[11] Faatimah al-Zahraa’ min Qabl al-Meelaad elaa Bacd al-Estesh-haad / al-Haashimi = page 27.
[12] Mokhtasar Dhakhaa’er al-cOqbaa / al-Tabari = page 48. Osd al-Ghaabah / Ibn al-Atheer = vol. 7, pages 221 and 222.
[13] The following are some of the more prominent Bakri references that record these ahaadeeth: Helyat al-Awleyaa’ / Aboo Nocaym. Lesaan al-Meezaan / al-cAsqalaani. Maqtal al-Hosayn / al-Khaarazmi. Nozhat al-Majaalis / al-Safoori. Tahdheeb al-Tahdheeb / al-cAsqalaani. Tahdheer al-Khawaas / al-Soyooti. Yanaabeec al-Mawaddah / al-Qandoozi.
[14] Faatimah al-Zahraa’ min al-Mahd elaa al-Lahd / al-Qazweeni = page 171.
[15] Man Laa Yahdoroh al-Faqeeh / al-Sadooq = vol. 3, page 401.
[16] cAlayhes Salaam, peace be upon him.
[17] Faatimah min al-Mahd elaa al-Lahd / al-Qazweeni = page 181.
[18] Nozhat al-Majaalis / al-Safoori = vol. 2, page 226.
[19] Also: Michael.
[20] Akhbaar al-Dowal wa Aathaar al-Owal / al-Qermaani. Dorar al-Semtayn / al-Zarandi. al-Fawaa’ed al-Majmoocah / al-Shawkaani. Lesaan al-Meezaan / al-cAsqalaani. al-Majrooheen / Ibn Habbaan. Meezaan al-Ectedaal / al-Dhahabi. Mokhtasar Dhakhaa’er al-cOqbaa / al-Tabari. Taareekh Baghdaad / al-Baghdaadi. Yanaabeec al-Mawaddah / al-Qandoozi.
[21] Mokhtasar Dhakhaa’er al-cOqbaa / al-Tabari = page 57. Osd al-Ghaabah / Ibn Atheer = vol. 7, page 222. al-Sonan al-Kobraa / al-Nasaa’i = vol. 6, page 72. Taareekh Demashq / Ibn cAsaakir = vol. 17, page 336.
[22] Faatimah min al-Mahd elaa al-Lahd / al-Qazweeni = page 192.
[23] Plural of sahaabi: a companion of the Prophet Mohammad.
[24] Behaar al-Anwaar / al-Majlesi = vol. 43, page 95.